Oh I know I am gonna get in trouble for posting this one, but this is too funny to keep to myself. For the record, in the past four years that we've been married, I have NEVER told Robert to sleep on the couch. We usually actually argue about the fact that he falls sleep on the couch and then I have to go and wake him up and drag his sleepy ass to bed. One of the best things that we discovered about our bedroom in the new house though is that it has a lock. The light bulb popped up over my head as soon as I saw that and I was just waiting for the right time to use it.

On Saturday night, Robert got himself into trouble. We had ten dinner guests and Robert was enjoying entertainning them. He was having so much fun sitting around and talking to them. I was happy to see he was having such a great time. Really I was, except that I also wanted to be sitting with the guests and enjoying the night. Instead, I was running around in the kitchen cooking up a storm, setting the table, getting drinks for everyone, making sure all was going right and in short being the hostess. Robert did make the salad (all vegetables, the bowl, the cutting board, and the knife were set up for him), and he did wash the ten china plates that I couldn't put in the washing machine. It was an effort to get him to do these things and he mumbled protests while doing them. In short, he pissed me off and I let that irritation show in front of his friends by making a few sarcastic remarks. For example, I said: I wish one of you smart people will come up with a program that makes men help around the house, because Robert never does. That was not right, but I was tired; I needed help, and I wasn't getting it, and I wasn't going to be graceful about it.

Bottom line was that in private after the guests had left, some harsh words were spoken:
---You never help!
---You never give me credit when I do and you are always putting me down in front of my friends!
---Well if you did actually help then I would say nice things about you in front of our friends!
At this point some yelling and screaming and storming off happened by both parties.
You can tell that I was less than willing to help out later that night when he wanted to use my computer to do a show, especially since I was awake until 2 a.m. cleaning up after the party alone while he was setting up for his show. He was doing this for our company and the success of the show was very important to me, but I wasn't feeling very helpful. If I had to do the dinner party by myself, then he could do the show by himself. Not exactly feeling the team spirit.

And yes you guessed right, I did lock the bedroom door when I went to sleep. Yes, I know. I can be mean. A couple of hours after I had fallen sleep and in the early hours of the morning I was awakened by some sounds coming from outside of the bedroom door. I woke up, and since I had completely forgotten about the locked door by then, and thought that Robert was still working on the computer or had fallen sleep on it, I thought nothing of it. I walked to the master bathroom and closed the door. With the bathroom door closed and the fan going on, I couldn't hear that Robert was trying to open the bedroom door and knocking on the door. When he couldn't get in through the door or get any responses from me, he must've had his next brilliant idea. He had walked out to the patio and tried to enter the bedroom from the screen door, except that he found the screen door to our bedroom to be locked too. So, I walk out of the master bathroom and walk towards our bed. I stop dead in my tracks as I see a man out side of the screen door windows doing jumping jacks in the dark. I rub my eyes to make sure I am awake and then I start laughing at my goofy husband trying to get my attention. Yes, I did let him in the bedroom. I was laughing too hard to be able to stay mad at him. It was also cold and it was nice to have someone warm to cuddle up to.