It would be unimaginably unfair of me to wet your romantic appetite for geeks, and push you out there to try and date them without sharing the secrets of my success in my relationships with geeks.

Let me first assure you that I am not making this up as we go along. I have been working with geeks since 1999 and have been romantically involved with one since 2002. I have been planning conferences, doing webcasts and socializing with geeks for a good few years and through my professional and personal experiences I feel I have come to know geeks and how to relate to them in a successful manner.

So you went out there and found yourself a geek; how do you make this relationship work? Here are some key tips on understanding your geek and how to play for keeps with the geeks:

1)      Don’t say it, email it: The power of the written word, errr…typed word, I mean the power of email. Do not take this lightly. If you want your geek to do something for you or to remember it, be it taking the trash out on Thursdays or your Mother’s birthday present or dinner with the neighbors, don’t tell him, send him an email about it. Better yet, send him a schedule request. He’ll honor that commitment a heck lot more than if you told him the same thing thousands of times. When it comes to remembering those commitments, don’t underestimate the power of email reminders.

2)      Do make him step away from the computer. If you want his attention, find a way to get him away from the computer. He will not hear a word you say while he is engaged with his computer. You need to physically remove him from the premises of the said device before he comprehends what you are trying to convey to him. How do you get his attention? Well, if he likes steaks, then you make one and make sure he can smell it. If he likes cheesecake, then start eating a big slice of it right in front of him and make sure he hears you oooh and aaaah over how yummy the cheesecake is. If he likes you in a certain red teddy, then …well you catch my drift. Once he is away from the computer, you will have his undivided attention.

3)      Do plan your vacations around geeky conferences. My husband will have a heart attack if I planned a romantic getaway for two for a week vacation in Europe, but he’ll name me his goddess if I decided to tag along for his trip to Paris for Les Blogs and a quick stop over in London for a geek dinner. There are geek conferences across the world. Heck, they even have geek cruises. You can justify the expense in terms of career advancement and educational costs. You can have plenty of time to shop alone while he is attending the conference and you can find fellow spouses and non-geeks to party with all through out the trip. There is also time left for you and him to do a romantic dinner and some sightseeing. It’s really the best of both worlds. If you don’t believe me, read my posts about our trips to Paris, London, Brussels, Dublin and Cork.

4)      Don’t boycott geek dinners. Attend a few with your geeky lover. Get to know his friends. Get to know him in his element. Believe me, you can have fun in geek dinners. Just read my post on “The non-geeks survival guide for geek dinners.”

5)      Do appreciate his honesty, but Don’t expect much diplomacy. Let’s be realistic. Your geek is not going to be the one who has a way with words. He is not going to be the most charming lad you met. And there is a chance that he might be so straight forward sometimes that he could hurt your feelings. Please understand that he doesn’t mean to offend. He just doesn’t know any other way. Please remember that he also won’t play mind games with you and with him, what you see is what you get. So in the long run, it is better to be with an honest geek than a charming freak.

6)      Do indulge him with a techie toy once in a while. Whether you want it or not, he is going to want to have all the latest gadgets all the time. Instead of letting him go crazy with the bank account and driving you both into bankruptcy, you should buy him some thoughtful and very expensive techie toys that he is lusting after for special occasions. He’ll love you for it and it will also keep his appetite in check. He will also reciprocate by buying you some nice bling bling or whatever makes your heart beat faster.  

7)      Do take pride in your geek. I don’t think I need to tell you this but you should be proud of him and you should let your love and admiration show. For their value, geeks are one of the most unappreciated parts of our society. Hey, you are dating the cream of the crop. You are with the top five percent of the population when it comes to smarts and brains. Enjoy his brains and put them to good use.

8)      Do find a hobby that you both enjoy and you can do together. Geeks are not all about computers you know. They always have other interests too and they are just as passionate about those hobbies as they are about their work. You hit the jackpot, if you can find a geek who shares similar interests with you. Geeks are passionate and intense about their hobbies too and whether it is movies, books, traveling, wine or cooking, once you’ll find the common interest they will have lots to contribute to the subject.   

9)      Don’t share computers or any other machines with him. The caveman territorial instincts come right out if you try to touch what is his. Just don’t go there. It can get ugly.

10)  Do enjoy his attention and passion. Geeks are intense and passionate about subjects of their desire. Your geeky lover will be the most passionate mate you have ever known. Enjoy!

If you are dating a geek or interested in dating one or if you are a geek in search of some self assurance and good company here are some more great advice on dating geeks:

Tara Hunt has plenty more reasons to date geeks.

Sarah Blow has ten reasons not to date a geek.

Helen has ten reasons it is not always easy to be married to a geek. But she also has many reasons why geeks make such great friends. Couldn't agree more. She also has ten great reasons why geeks make wonderful fathers.

And finally Emily Hambridge has ten things you need to know while dating an Apple Developer or any other Techie.

Now get out there and find yoruself a geek to love!

Disclaimer: All geeks are not created equal. Your personal experience with a geek might vary.

Disclaimer #2: Female geeks are created superior. You can find out by reading Joyce Carpenter's 11 reasons to date a female geek.