Maryamie: advice

A Can of Diet Pepsi in the Freezer

Fri, 02 May 2008 01:39:11 GMT

Here's a tip for you, if you want a cold can of diet Pepsi, you can either pour some of it in a glass full of ice or leave the can in the fridge a while before you plan to consume it. Better yet, just don't drink soda. It's not good for you anyway. Yeah I know that is pretty obvious, but what you need to do is realize that never under any circumstances should you leave the said can in the freezer, telling yourself that you will remember to take it out in a few minutes. You may remember to do it a few times, but it is enough just once for you to forget and leave the can there overnight like I did.
The sad thing is I don't even drink soda. I left it there for Robert and was going to give to him when I served dinner, but I forgot. The next day when I opened the freezer to get some ice, I was greeted with a frozen black liquid that was splashed all over the freezer. After cursing my own stupidity, the laws of physics, and every single can of soda that exists, diet and regular, I decided to clean the freezer.
It was hard to scratch the frozen soda pieces from the freezer. Here's where I had my next brilliant idea which should promptly land me in an episode of Jackass. I thought I would turn the freezer off and wait until it got slushy and soft before removing the splashed soda icicles. So my second tip for you is never do what I just told you that I did. What happened next was that the soda started trickling down all over the freezer, and now everything was black, sticky and requiring lots of effort to clean up. It took me a few hours to clean the freezer and all its contents.
I have decided never to bring home a can of soda. I don't care if it was my fault to begin with.

Never say never

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 20:39:33 GMT

Here’s a friendly advice from me to you: Never say never. Learn from my experience. Here’s how things have turned out for me every time I’ve insisted that I would never do something or other. I jumped on the chance to do that very thing the first opportunity I got. What can I say? I am fickle.

Here are some brilliant examples from the recent past:

Example number one: Maryam: “Ill never eat snails…eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww, gross!”

Same Maryam, a few years later in a French restaurant while munching on escargot: “Hmmm, chewy. Could you pass that pesto sauce please?”

Example number two: Maryam: “I’ll never have a big wedding. Why would I want to spend all that money on one night. I’ll just elope and skip the whole thing.”

Same Maryam, a few years later after spending thousand of dollars for a 115 guests wedding at Lake Tahoe: “That was the best night of my life. Everyone should have a big wedding!”

Example number three: Maryam: “Mark my words. I’ll never blog.”

Same Maryam, a few years and 280,000 page visits later: “I love blogging. I was born to blog.”

Last but not least and my personal favorite: Maryam: “I love living in Seattle. I will never go back to the bay area.”

Same Maryam a few months later: “Hello Silly Valley. Here we come again!”

What should you do if you drink a cup of sour milk?

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 22:01:02 GMT

What should you do if you drink a cup of sour milk? Don’t look through the Internet for an answer, that’s what. You’ll find yourself browsing through recipes for sour milk cookies and cakes, or finding all the names of the bacterial families that reside in the milky fluids, but you will not find any remedies. Don’t call the nurse hotline either. They’ll put you on hold long enough to turn that sour milk into cheese.

I made myself a nice hot cup of milk this morning and added some chai mix to it and drank it all up right before my Webcast went live. During the hour and half long Webcast I found my stomach to become more and more disagreeable. Our speaker was a popular one and there were lots of questions afterwards, but about 20 minutes into the questions I had to politely ask the speaker to wrap up and then run to the bathroom.

I wasn’t sure why I was feeling so awful, but since I had only drank the milk, I had exactly one suspect in mind. I went down and looked at the milk carton and sure enough saw that expiration date was a couple of days ago. Yikes! I then opened the milk carton and took a sniff. Oh boy! I knew I was in trouble. I called the nurse line with no avail before I had to hang up to run to the bathroom again. Then I spent the next half hour searching the internet while periodically running to the bathroom.

At last I found an entry from this angel of a man who had had a similar problem a few years back and wrote about it. God bless Babak.

So I made myself a cold glass of water and poured a generous amount of lime juice in it over some ice. I feel soooooooo much better thanks to Babak Seradjeh, water and lime juice. Next time I will look at the expiration date and smell the milk before I drink it. Better yet, I am staying away from milk for a while. My favorite drink right now? Yeah, you guessed it: Lime juice and water over ice. Shaken not stirred please J