Maryamie: relationships

Super Couple: Brian Cox and Gia Gia

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:57:53 GMT

Are there any awards for Super couples being given out? I'd like to nominate Brian Cox and his lovely wife Gia as the uber super couple. I want Robert and I to be like them, when we evolve later in our relationship :) They are visiting from UK and are here in the bay area for the Ted conference since Brian is speaking there and we met them and some of their friends for drinks at Medjool in San Fran last night. Brian Cox is a physicist working for CERN and Gia works in the TV and Film industry; her recent project was blogging for the movie, Sunshine.
They are both attractive, charming, accomplished, smart and kind, but what I really like about them is that even though they are quite successful in their professional fields, they are well-rounded enough that you can talk to them about anything. The conversation never comes to a dull point. Brian is a brilliant scientist but he was part of a band in college. A nerd who knows how to rock and roll; now that is pretty cool. And Gia? She is not to be outdone by her husband. She is a geek too; in fact we keep running into eachother in the geeky conferences, but she is also in the film and movie industry and hangs out with the stars as part of her job. She is a cool kid with geek cred.
They have smart friends too. We met Jas of the Electronpusher blog last night at Medjool who showed off her Apple Newton to us. It may be an interesting antique to many but she let me play with it and it was pretty cool. I think I want me a Newton. It turns out that Jas works at Google and designs computing infrastructures for them. I am always in awe when I meet women who have made it in the boys world of computers and are accomplished as such. There are so few of these genuises and they have to work hard to attain their professional achievements.
It was a great night hanging out with Brian and Gia and Jas and their friends. Maybe they just have the right accent to make them sound smart and look attractive. Maybe it is because they are Brian and Gia and Jas.

Three things I love about you which also drive me crazy...

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 07:46:38 GMT

Dear Valentine, I married you because you can not tell a lie to save your life. I love your honesty. I know you can never cheat on me, because you won't be able to lie to me. By the same token I can't ever ask you, "do these pants make me look fat?" It's not that you'd be rude about it and say something mean. You just look down, or look away, say no and try and run out of the room as soon as possible. I also love that you are hard working; that you are dedicated to your work, and I know you provide for our family and take care of us in the best of your abilities. At the same time, I know I can't ask you to play hookey and bum around with me when I feel like it. Oh why oh why, can't I have everything? I get so mad at you when you act absentminded and forget important things, like your cell. phone before you take off on a trip. But I love the fact that you never remember any of the mistakes I make. You always forget why you got mad me in a matter of minutes and that is why my Valentine, you and I will be loving each other forever. Happy Valentine's day!

My sexy, husky voice

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 00:02:35 GMT

If you have ever heard me speak, you know that I sound like a cartoon character with an accent. While the rest of my body and mind has grown, my voice still sounds like a little girl. It's great when I am trying to get rid of telemarketers...sorry Mommy and Daddy are not home right now....not so great when I...well not so great any other time. Who can take me seriously?
Now I have a cold and my voice has completely changed. First of all, it hurts to talk so I talk much less and whisper as much as I can. Robert loves this. He doesn't have to listen to me complain because I am trying to save my voice and only speak when I really have to. I also can not yell at him because I just can't raise my voice. When I do talk I have to whisper and he can just pretend he doesn't hear me. he is a happy camper in this trip.
Dave Winer loves this too. He says I sound great and I should really do a podcast with my new sexy, husky voice. Trust Dave to make me feel good when I am feeling the sickness blues.

The Luckiest Gal I know...

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 20:27:25 GMT

The luckiest gal I know is no beauty queen;
she hasn't won the lottery;
and was never voted most likely to succeed.

The luckiest gal I know is married to a geek;
has two wonderful sons and is surrounded by loving family and friends.

The luckiest gal I know is looking at me from the mirror with a big smile on her face and can't believe how lucky she is just to be alive.

Happy 5th Anniversary to the man who makes me feel like the luckiest gal I know.

Wake up and tell me that you love me...

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 00:02:26 GMT

Inspired by Hugh's drawing, I woke Robert up on Saturday morning and asked him,
"Robert, will you always love me?"
Robert sighed himself to a half-awakened state and nodded: "I will always love you," and promptly closed his eyes again.
But I wasn't going to let it go so easily. I had to have confirmation, so I asked again, shaking him:
"What if you meet a blonde, rich supermodel, who is in love with you? Huh? What about then?"
Robert opened his eyes again and smiled reassuringly: "I will always....<long pause>...remember you...fondly of course!"
And he ducked quickly under covers laughing heartily, as I began to beat him with my fists.

I never asked for an iPhone

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 22:43:07 GMT

If you've been following the blogs, watching CNBC, listening to QKED, reading Palo Alto daily or skimming through AP stories, you might already know that Patrick and Robert have been camping in front of the Apple store since yesterday morning to get their iPhones today. Robert has been claiming that he is only there to get me a phone for my birthday which is tomorrow. It is all very sweet and romantic, except that I never asked for an iPhone.
Don't get me wrong, I do need a cell. phone. I've been asking for one since last year, when we moved to half moon bay and realized T-mobile didn't work around our house at all. Honestly, I would've been happy with just about any cell. phone. My 4 year old Sony Ericson is fine as long as I can have a carrier that works around our house. Having a new cell. phone would be great though. I don't necessarily need a 600 dollar one, but I won't complain about this gift.
You have to be careful with geeks baring gifts though. I wonder when and if I'll ever use the phone. This reminds me of last year when he bought me a BMW for my birthday when I asked for a car (and was looking at a Toyota for a while), and then drove it to work himself until everyone got on his case. Or the year before that when he got me a digital camera, I never got to use myself, and to this day don't know what happened to it.
Of course, I got Robert a barbecue grill and a patio set for Father's day and made him assemble them and then make barbecue for our families on that day. Yes I know, we deserve each other :)

You know your marriage is safe when...Part II

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 22:19:33 GMT

I come back from a night out with my brother for his birthday, having watched the Axis of Evil Comedy act.

Robert asks, "So how was it?"
Maryam: "Oh, these guys are hilarious; we were laughing for the whole three hours. "
Robert: "That good, huh?"
Maryam: "Oh yeah. And they were cute too. I have a crush on one of them. Ahmed Ahmed is hot."
Robert: "Yeah? Like you'd ever have a chance with him...heh!"
Maryam: "Well, actually he said he liked Persian women, so there!"
Robert: "yeah, but did he say he liked pregnant Persian Women? huh?"
Maryam: "Ok, you have a point, but I am not going to stay pregnant forever you know. Pretty soon I will have the baby. I'll diet and exercise and get in shape and then you better watch out!"
Robert: "That's what you think woman. My plan is to keep getting you pregnant, so guys stay away from you. You are stuck with me baby! ha ha ha!" Wicked laughter ensues.

And I thought his plan would be to entice me to stay with him with bling bling and love, respect and tenderness. Go figure!

You know your marriage is safe when...

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 00:40:43 GMT

Two of my good girlfriends who had each been married around 7-9 years are going through divorce, and I've been spending some time on the phone and in person trying to console them. Both husbands were found by my friends to be having extramarital affairs. It's pretty hard to see your friends go through tough times and when people you thought were meant for each other break up, it tends to make you take a harder look at your own relationship.

So we are driving home together and I am looking out the window pondering love, marriage, affairs and divorce.

Robert: "You are pretty quiet this evening..."
Maryam turning from the window to look at Robert at the wheel: "Will you ever leave me for another woman?"
Robert shakes his head matter of factly: "Nope."
Maryam smiling: "you love me so much that you'd never leave me, right?"
Robert sighing as a man who has come to terms with his fate: "I just can't afford it. Divorce, lawyers, alimony, child support, second time around...phew, just can't afford it."
Maryam: "Hmmm...well, what if you were rich and famous?"
Robert suddenly getting a twinkle of fantasy in his eyes and smiling: "If I was rich and famous and a rich super model hit on me?"
Maryam: "yeah?"
Robert laughing wickedly: "Then you are toast baby! Buhh Byee!"

Well at any rate, it's good to know my marriage is safe. I doubt any super models will be fighting me for Robert's affections anytime soon :) The goofball is all mine!

Chris Pirillo gets it!

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 01:15:57 GMT

Recently I was talking to a mutual friend about Ponzi and how much we both liked her. She asked me, do you think Chris knows what a gem he has got? And I said, "I think he'll get it eventually, but I don't think he gets it yet." And I was wrong. Chris totally gets it. What a genuine and empowering tribute to his better half. I am totally backing Chris up on this one. Ponzi has been an inspiration to me ever since I've met her and I consider myself lucky to count her among one of my best friends. Go Ponzi!

Angels and flies

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 23:24:39 GMT

This morning Robert woke me up by gently biting my shoulder. When I turned around to face him in the bed and protest, I saw that he was smiling at me with adoration in his eyes. I gave him a sleepy smile and he said: "You are so beautiful like an angel." He kissed my nose, gave me a hug and then got up to get ready for work.

Later today I walk up to his desk at work to ask him a question and I see him deep in thought and typing fast on his laptop. He looks up at me annoyed as I have just interrupted his train of thought, answers my question and looks down again to type. When he feels that I am still standing there, he makes this swatting motion with his hand as if to say, what are you doing here still; hop away you annoying creature.

Hey, what happened here? How did I get from an angel to a gadfly in just a few hours?

Chick Flick

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:47:05 GMT

Last night we watched Garden State, which Patrick and I thought was a bit weird but funny nonetheless. Robert didn't want to watch it and silently protested our choice by resting his head on my lap and falling sleep after about 10-15 minutes through the movie.

I woke him up midway and asked him disappointedly why he didn't like the same movies as I do. He rubbed his eyes, watched the movie for a few more minutes, then closed his eyes again and said, "because you like chick flicks."

"How is this a chick flick?" I asked protesting.

"It has dialogue; there are no gun shots and no blood. It's a chick flick." Robert stated with closed eyes.

What could I say? I sighed and watched the rest of the movie with Patrick, poking Robert in the ribs if he started to snore.

Maryam wins this round

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 20:33:20 GMT

It's a cloudy Saturday morning and Maryam and Robert are relaxing in their living room. Robert sitting behind the dinning table, to no one's surprise, is on his laptop surfing the web, while Maryam lounging on the couch, is reading her favorite new pregnancy book, Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy. The silence is broken by Robert turning the volume high to listen to a Violet Blue interview conducted at SWSX. While Maryam admires Violet Blue's work, she cannot concentrate on her book and asks Robert to kindly use the headphones. Robert refuses. Maryam begins to read loudly from her book. The cacophony of competing voices rein over the Scoble living room.

The next 5 minutes go something like this:

"Hi, this is Violet Blue reporting from the lovely, lovely Austin...."
"some of my more unfortunate girlfriends have such an extreme case of nausea that they would gag right in the middle of..."
"Could you please tell me why this couch is oh so comfortable?"
"She just sat as quietly as possible with her mouth clenched..."
and so on and so forth, you get the idea.

Finally Robert shouts, "Ok, Ok!" and turns the volume down.
Maryam springs up from the couch and does a victory dance. "Oh yeah, oh yeah. I win. I win."

You may ask wisely why didn't one of them move to another area of the three bedroom house?
To which my answer is, if you ask this question, you are either single or in a honeymoon stage of your relationship, because you do not yet know the joys of making your partner miserable to spice up the monotony of your days.

You may also smile smugly and let Maryam know that Robert just let Maryam win. To which Maryam responds: Of course he did. This is his second marriage and he knows not to mess with a pregnant wife. He does value his life and limbs. But yeah I did win! So there!

Ten Reasons We Love Robert Scoble

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 01:23:15 GMT

Loren of 1938 Media has a great sense of humor and he shows the goofy side of Robert by a short clip montage of his laughs in his videos.

Having a goofy side and a sense of humor makes for a great relationship, I can tell you that. I love being married to a man who is not afraid to make a fool of himself in public. He laughs with me during the good times and makes me laugh during the hard times. I love being married to a goofball, even though he hates eggplants :)

Is Robert in Trouble for Partying at SWSX?

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 20:11:18 GMT

After my last post, and Robert Twittering that he is out and about partying with beautiful women and a guy wearing a kilt, Rob is wondering if Robert is in trouble with me? And my answer is, what do you think? Of course NOT!

I love that goofball and I am happy Robert is having a good time. I miss him and can't wait to see him, but I totally agree with John, just because you are in a serious relationship doesn't mean you stop having fun. Robert and I have a "look all you want, but just don't touch" policy. It has worked very well so far. I am not a jealous person, and Robert hasn't ever given me a reason to be jealous. And one of the reasons I love him, is that he is not over protective, and overly possessive of me either. Now if I find out that he is cheating on me, he is dead meat, but so far he hasn't given me any reason not to trust him.

Now stuff that totally annoys me and makes me want to beat someone up?

If I read another blog post about Twitter, I will scream. Please people find something else to talk about. Anything.

And I seriously think Robert needs to disallow anonymous comments in his blog right now and for the duration of my pregnancy. This is simply for their own good. I swear one of these days, they are going to push my button, and I will make it my business to find out who they are one by one and then...well, God help them.

Priceless Voice mail from my husband while at SWSX

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 01:02:18 GMT

You all remember when Robert forgot his cell. phone at home and had me running back home, picking up his cell phone and driving to the airport to send his cell. phone to him? He thought he could just twitter his way through SWSX, but I thought the team needed to get in touch with him and know of his whereabouts. Plus, it would be nice to get a call from him now and then.

Now my advice to all men: this is not the message you want to leave your pregnant wife back at home while you are away on a business trip if you need a ride back home from the airport:

"Hi honey, don't call me tonight, because I'll probably won't be able to get to the phone. I'll be going to several parties tonight. Miss you. Bye."

Sometimes I am not sure if honesty is the best policy :)

How tall are you again?

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 23:56:39 GMT

I am standing in the kitchen, having just got home from work, and waiting for my cup of tea to warm up in the microwave. Robert walks in after me and seeing me standing there, comes close, pulls me to him and starts kissing me. Then he stops, holds my face in his hands and stares in to my eyes.

He says smiling: "hmmm, you've gotten taller baby. You look good this way."
I respond laughing: "ummm, I am wearing high heels."
"Oh," he says relieved, as if someone just explained the meaning of life to him, "I was wondering how come you looked taller tonight."

And these words come from (according to a few well known publications anyway), one of the most important personalities in the Internet. Internet: I'll be worried if I were you.

On Expensive Watches

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 20:39:03 GMT

Robert doesn't usually get mad at me. It's not that I am flawless, as my family and friends will gladly tell you and anyone else who'd listen. He is just naturally good-tempered and I am lucky for that. So when he does get mad at me, I tend to remember the occasion. He did get mad at me right before our wedding, when he found out that I had asked my Mom to get me a Gucci watch as my wedding present. It's a beautiful diamond encrusted watch for about $2000. He couldn't understand why I didn't ask for the money to help with our wedding expenses or ask for something more practical that well both of us could use. Why would anyone want to pay $2000 for a watch when a $20 would serve the same purpose, he asked tersely. His reaction was much like Chris Pirillo and his rant about Franck Muller Watches.

Funny thing is we got a tour of the Franck Muller's factory while we were in Geneva for the LIFT conference, complements of Laurent and 1875 Finance. All I can say is Robert is lucky I didn't ask for a Franck Muller's watch where the cheapest one costs about 20 grands and they run up to a million bucks for the one with the most complications. We got a tour of the factory which we should be able to put up on the ScobleShow soon, and watched a master watchmaker at work. He let us hold the watch he was wearing which was about 200 grands. I turned to Guido who was standing next to me and showing him the watch said: I have never held something so expensive. He smiled and pointing to Robert who was filming the interview answered: "Of course you have. There he is."

I guess Guido is right. Robert is worth a lot more than a Franck Muller's watch. I wonder if I can sell him on ebay ;)?

Love and Make-up

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 01:42:34 GMT

I am getting ready for bed, standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom. To my left, Robert is gingerly brushing his teeth and amusing himself by watching my nightly ritual. I take a make-up remover pad, wet it with some facial cleaning liquid and wipe it over my left eye. I look at it and suddenly the pure white pad is smirched with black eye-make up mixed up with some colorful eyeshadow. It could very well be a piece of Jackson Pollock's work.

Robert: ewwwwww. That's disgusting. Why do you womenz always feel like you should put so much make-up on? You look so much prettier without make-up.

Maryam: uh-huh.

I take another pad and wipe off the other eye. Then I wash my face and pad it dry.

Robert: Really. I mean it. Look at you now. You look so much better. You don't need make-up. You look beautiful naturally.

He is done brushing his teeth, but using his brush to point at me and then at the mirror.

I look at him and calmly ask: If you love me so much in my natural beauty, can you tell me why you have this picture on your laptop display? You know the one Kris Krug shot at Chris and Ponzi's wedding?

Robert: um...well, you look hot there. You look like a tiger. Sexy!

Maryam: Right. Do you know how much time it took a professional hairdresser and make-up artist to make me look like that?

Robert sighs, shruggs and walks out to the bedroom sans the toothbrush. I climb in bed right after him and cuddle with him. You gotta love a man who loves you with and without make-up.

Happy heart day everyone!

Please Name Your Terms

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 00:46:54 GMT

If you don't know him and just look at Hugh when he has a glass of wine (or three) in hand and a cigarrette dangling from his lips, you might dismiss him as a geek in his own world. You'd be so wrong though...Hugh has such a keen perspective on human nature and such a fun way of showing it. I love this cartoon . You know what, I love Hugh.

What were my terms, when Robert asked me? You should know I am a material girl by now :) I asked for the usual: The platinum diamond ring, the beamer, the house near the beach, and all his paychecks...oh and his heart and complete devotion for eternity. I am easy, just not cheap...

Happy Birthday to My Husband!

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 17:03:28 GMT

You are my sunshine, sea, salty air and solid groud, all four elements mixed into one.

The one night stand that will last a lifetime.

You are my hopeful beginning, happy ending and everything from the middle that I care to recall.

You are the best thing that ever happened to me; you are my destiny, my everlasting love.

Happy birthday goofball.

Which one would you choose? Hot gadget or your SO?

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 00:39:53 GMT

Jeremiah just forwarded me a survey that says one out of eight men will happily swap their girlfriends for a hot must-have gagdget. Ouch! Tomorrow is Robert's birthday. Gotta go buy him a hot new gadget before he decides to swap me for it :)

Eating Eggplant

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 00:16:00 GMT

One of the things I love about Robert is that he is not finicky about food. Being around Iranian men most of my life, I thought that all men are overly critical of the food being served to them and certainly did not look forward to that part of marriage. Not that I think it is a woman's duty to make food at all times, but it generally falls on women's shoulders. Plus, Robert makes a great barbecue, but other than that he is clueless in the kitchen. I love the guy though because, god bless his soul, he will eat just about anything I serve him and will thank me. I can pick up chinese food on my way home and Robert would thank me like I have been slaving for hours in the kitchen. I love the guy.

Well, I said he eats just about anything. Anything execpt eggplants. He hates eggplants. He says it is not the taste so much as the texture. The problem is I love eggplants and I can't understand how anyone can not love them. My mission eversince we got married has been to make Robert love eggplants and so far I am failing.

I always try to mush them up and disguise them in the middle of a dish with lots of spices and then serve them to Robert. I love watching him eat eggplant. He is cute like a baby. He is enjoying his meal, smiling through it and chomping away until he bites into the eggplant piece. Then his happy face suddenly changes into a frown and he says protestingly, "is that an eggplant in my food?" and when I smile and confirm, he'll still eat it but grudgingly.

I love my husband, eventhough he doesn't love eggplants.

Goofball Strikes back on turkey day

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 14:22:49 GMT

You know how I am always complaining about how Robert doesn't help out around the house? Well, he totally surprised me on Thanksgiving by going out of his way to be helpful. He cleaned his office. All the junk was later discovered in the attic as I gave our guests a tour of the house which prompted Robert to say that no one ever shows people their attic, it's like showing them the garage. The last time I had checked our attic, it was practically empty and I didn't expect to trip over loads of office junk as I walked in, but I digress. He cleaned out his office and it looked very nice. He didn't stop there, however. He cleaned out the turkeys (no, I didn't see the insides of the turkeys in the attic) and made mashed potatoes. He made salad and washed all the dishes. He served the guests drinks and dessert. He even took the trash out. I was going through the day thankful for all his help and smiling to myself when my cousin interrupted me as I was getting some coffee ready. She said: Maryam, I thought my husband was good around the house, but Robert helps out soooooo much. You are always going on about how he doesn't help you out. God, woman: what else do you want him to do?
I was going to defend myself and say this was a one time fluke and I started to say: "but..." and then I saw that no matter what I said, from the expression on her face, I had been completely discredited.
Later that night, my mom caught me alone and whispered: darling you are always going on about how your husband never helps you out around the house. I have no idea what you are talking about. I have been watching him all day and he has worked as hard as you if not more. What's wrong with you?

So when we went to bed that night, I asked Robert, how come you helped so much today? What happened? Not that I am not thankful. I am just wondering what made you want to help out so much. I left out the part about how I knew this was his ploy to discredit me in front of my family and make me out to be a liar and an ungrateful brat.

He looked at me with an all knowing smile, shrugged and said: Oh, I just felt like it.

Well what can I say? I am grateful for his help. Hopefully he feels like it more often.

Working with your lover and reading your horoscope

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 08:07:16 GMT

I think my MSN powered astrologer is finally figuring out that I am working with someone I am romantically involved with. It's a few months late, but better late than never. Check out my horoscope for today and with that note I think I am gonna call that special someone from work and hit the sack. Good night!

Cancer
June 22 - July 22

Someone whom you know from work may suddenly appear to be acquiring romantic feelings for you, dear Cancer. At first this might make you a little uncomfortable, as you've never before thought of this person that way. Don't do anything rash, however. Think about it first. Maybe there's potential, maybe there isn't, but don't jump at it, nor should you dismiss it out of hand. Who knows? This person may prove to be your ideal mate!

Airing Dirty Laundry

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:11:28 GMT

I swear he does this on purpose. He goofs up on chores on purpose, so I just stop asking him and do them myself. I watched it on "Everybody Loves Raymond" where Ray is telling his brother how he should mess up on a chore really bad and then his new wife will never ask him to do anything else. I think Robert watched that show, or maybe it just comes to men naturally.
So for the last three and a half years, Robert has not done laundry at our house. Not once. Oh, there was a six month honeymoon period when he did his own laundry when we first got married, but then I lost my job and stayed home and did all the house chores and eventhough I eventually went back to full time employment, the house chores never got divided back again. I was still working from home though and that gave me some flexibility with doing the chores.
Now that I work from the office, I have been giving him hints that he needs to help out around the house. Like the little note about the laundry I posted yesterday and I really thought he got it. So here's our phone conversation last night:

Maryam: Hi, I'll be home shortly.
Robert: Hi, I did laundry goofy.
Robert always has to report if he does anything around the house. I don't know what he expects me to do with the information though? Tell him how much more I have done that day and compare notes? Pat him on the back? Say thank you, I am not worthy or just give him a little biscuit? But this time I am so surprised, I am wowing outloud.
Maryam: You did? really? Everything in the hamper?
Robert: The hamper? He says this as if he has no idea what I am talking about and instead tells me what he thinks should be the obvious answer: No I washed the sheets.
Maryam: The sheets? What sheets?
Robert: The guest sheets.
Of course, why didn't I think of that????
Maryam: You mean you washed the clean guests sheets again that Ponzi had already washed and done?
Thingking why in the hell would you do that, when we have a hamper full of dirty laundry I could have used your help with.
Robert: She did? Oh I forgot about that, so I guess I washed them again. Oh well.
Maryam: Yes she did. Remember how I was telling her I wish all guests were like her?
Robert: Nope, sorry.
Maryam: Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!
Robert: I was just trying to help.
Maryam: Yes you have helped. You have helped waste water, energy and washing liquid and you have helped driving me a little closer to insanity. Thank you very much.
Robert: I love you.
Thinking: and this is why I never do anything for you. You never appreciate me.
Maryam: Whatever.
Thinking: This is why I don't like guns. If I had one, I would use it.

Sigh...and "these conversations ladies and gentlemen" said in my best Raymond voice, "is the reason we drink."

Flowers from my baby

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 00:32:30 GMT

Robert made my day by sending me flowers at work. And he went all out and finally got me sunflowers. It is a beautiful fall bouquet adorning my desk and he tells me we have dinner reservations at Red Ginger in Half Moon Bay. I had told him a couple of times in passing that I wanted to try the restaurant out. I guess he does listen to me from time to time.

It's a rainy day here in the bay area, but my day is brightened by sunflowers, love and your nice comments and emails.

Thanks! Go tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. Pick up some flowers, go out to dinner, bring in the joy.

What did you get me for our anniversary?

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 21:34:46 GMT

Maryam: What did you get me for our anniversary?

Robert: I already got you a gift!

Maryam: Really? Where is it?

Robert: I got you a BMW.

Maryam: That was my premony gift.

Robert: That's a made up word and you know it.

Maryam: Fine. It was my birthday gift. Where is my anniversary gift?

Robert: That's right. It was your birthday gift. But I am paying 800 bucks a month for this, so I figure you get a gift from me every month. This month it's your anniversary gift. Next month it's your Christmas gift. In february it will be your valentine gift, and in some months it's just a gift, no strings attached.

Maryam: That sucks. This is what you did when we got married too. You didn't buy me flowers for a year because you said we spent all that money on flowers for the wedding.

Robert: Exactly.

Maryam: Speaking of flowers...did you get me some?

Robert: mmmm

Maryam: You better not have ordered roses again. You always get me red roses. You know I hate red roses and I love sunflowers, but you always get me red roses.

Robert: I love red roses. They stand for love.

Maryam: But you are getting me flowers and I love sunflowers. Did you make dinner reservations?

Robert: Don't you have to go to work?

Maryam: yeah, where are we going to dinner?

Robert: It's all a surprise. Now go to work. (and lookinglike it is as much of a surprise to him as it will be to me).

Maryam: so what am I getting for my anniversary?

Robert: Go to work woman. I have somethings I need to take care of.

Maryam: yeah I bet you do. I'll be back at 5. You better be dressed nice.

Robert: We are going to McDonalds. Now go.

Maryam: What did you say?

Robert: Happy anniversary dear.

Maryam: Happy anniversary!

Why do I love Robert?

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 21:12:41 GMT

Right before we got married, I asked you what would I have to do to lose you? What would drive you away from me? Always a diplomat, I wanted to know how could I push you away without taking the blame for walking out on my oaths, if I realized one day that maybe this marriage thing wasn’t for me.

You said nothing. And I thought you were a better diplomat than I am. You weren’t going to make it easy for me. What I didn’t realize then, is that you were playing no games. Over the past four years, you have stayed with me and loved me through rich (well meaning we can afford to pay all of our bills) and poor (at the edge of bankruptcy poor), healthy (whatever that means) and (sick on the hospital bed sick), fat (yes, I know) and thin (well, ok getting there, more like less fat), happy (like I have a good buzz) and sad (sobbing, depressive, moping sad puppy sad), loving wife and raving mad woman. I on the other hand, have threatened to walk out many times: sometimes over a piece of toast (I am serious about my carbs), sometimes over having more time with you and sometimes just because I could. You have always played the fall guy, even if it wasn’t your fault; you have always asked me to stay and try and work it out and you have always loved me.

You have also taught me generously what you know, always happy to share the lime light, always giving credit to me, sometimes more than you should. You have pushed me to try new adventures, taken me to so many new places, made my dreams come through, supported me through many a tough time and through it all you have always loved me.

Happy anniversary goofy. I see your scooped me on that one by posting a day earlier.

I can’t imagine my life without you. Special thanks to Jill for the funny trailer of our interview about living with geeks. I think that’s our secret: we know how to laugh together ☺ Looking forward to laughing through all my life with you my love.

Sleeping on the Couch

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 20:49:58 GMT

Oh I know I am gonna get in trouble for posting this one, but this is too funny to keep to myself. For the record, in the past four years that we've been married, I have NEVER told Robert to sleep on the couch. We usually actually argue about the fact that he falls sleep on the couch and then I have to go and wake him up and drag his sleepy ass to bed. One of the best things that we discovered about our bedroom in the new house though is that it has a lock. The light bulb popped up over my head as soon as I saw that and I was just waiting for the right time to use it.

On Saturday night, Robert got himself into trouble. We had ten dinner guests and Robert was enjoying entertainning them. He was having so much fun sitting around and talking to them. I was happy to see he was having such a great time. Really I was, except that I also wanted to be sitting with the guests and enjoying the night. Instead, I was running around in the kitchen cooking up a storm, setting the table, getting drinks for everyone, making sure all was going right and in short being the hostess. Robert did make the salad (all vegetables, the bowl, the cutting board, and the knife were set up for him), and he did wash the ten china plates that I couldn't put in the washing machine. It was an effort to get him to do these things and he mumbled protests while doing them. In short, he pissed me off and I let that irritation show in front of his friends by making a few sarcastic remarks. For example, I said: I wish one of you smart people will come up with a program that makes men help around the house, because Robert never does. That was not right, but I was tired; I needed help, and I wasn't getting it, and I wasn't going to be graceful about it.

Bottom line was that in private after the guests had left, some harsh words were spoken:
---You never help!
---You never give me credit when I do and you are always putting me down in front of my friends!
---Well if you did actually help then I would say nice things about you in front of our friends!
At this point some yelling and screaming and storming off happened by both parties.
You can tell that I was less than willing to help out later that night when he wanted to use my computer to do a show, especially since I was awake until 2 a.m. cleaning up after the party alone while he was setting up for his show. He was doing this for our company and the success of the show was very important to me, but I wasn't feeling very helpful. If I had to do the dinner party by myself, then he could do the show by himself. Not exactly feeling the team spirit.

And yes you guessed right, I did lock the bedroom door when I went to sleep. Yes, I know. I can be mean. A couple of hours after I had fallen sleep and in the early hours of the morning I was awakened by some sounds coming from outside of the bedroom door. I woke up, and since I had completely forgotten about the locked door by then, and thought that Robert was still working on the computer or had fallen sleep on it, I thought nothing of it. I walked to the master bathroom and closed the door. With the bathroom door closed and the fan going on, I couldn't hear that Robert was trying to open the bedroom door and knocking on the door. When he couldn't get in through the door or get any responses from me, he must've had his next brilliant idea. He had walked out to the patio and tried to enter the bedroom from the screen door, except that he found the screen door to our bedroom to be locked too. So, I walk out of the master bathroom and walk towards our bed. I stop dead in my tracks as I see a man out side of the screen door windows doing jumping jacks in the dark. I rub my eyes to make sure I am awake and then I start laughing at my goofy husband trying to get my attention. Yes, I did let him in the bedroom. I was laughing too hard to be able to stay mad at him. It was also cold and it was nice to have someone warm to cuddle up to.

Don't Marry a Career Woman

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 21:55:39 GMT

By now you probably have read or at least heard about Forbes's August 22nd article by Michael Noer, "Don't Marry a Career Woman, " and the uproar it caused in the feminist circles, and among female bloggers. I have read blog after blog, and even a few enraged emails from you disputing Mr. Noer's assumptions that men should not marry career-minded women because their house would be dirty and their hearts would be filthy, etc. In fact, I went through 16 pages of Technorati filled with blogs denouncing Forbes and their printing of Mr. Noer's hateful article. The heated response in the blogs was so fervent that Forbes decided to pull the article and then repost it with a counter-article by Elizabeth Corcoran.

Great victory for blogs and women's rights, right? No, not really. I first found out about the article via Lauri's blog and while you and I and the majority of blogs may disagree with her and Mr. Noer, I believe Lauri represents what the majority of people in this country feel. You don't agree? Who elected Bush twice in a row then? Who listens to shows like Rush Limbaugh, and watches The Fox News Network?

We may have been able to force Forbes to pull down an article, but we need a lot more to change the minds of the conservative majority in this country.

The downside of working with your lover

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 22:26:05 GMT

Ok so Robert and I now have officially got another two weeks of working together at the office and I have some interesting facts to report. Here is a list of things that are not so cool about working with your lover and commuting together:

1) If one of you is running late, the other one will be late too.
2) If one of you has to get to work early for a meeting in the ungodly hour of 8 a.m., the other one has to get up early too.
3) If you disagree with each other at work, you think people will assume you are having marital troubles and if you agree with eachother, well...it might look like you are agreeing because you love each other and not necessarily each others' ideas.
4) Takes all the fun out of sexual harassment suits ;)
5) You'll fight about whose cell. phone should be charged using the car's lighter's plug.
6) You'll fight about whose turn it is to drive and let the other one doze off.
7) You'll fight about who has to get up earlier and take a shower first.
8) You can't both call in sick and then play doctor at home...people will notice if you were both missing in the office :)

Truth be told, we are enjoying working together, and I am always coming up with new interesting ways to get Robert out of bed and ready for work. One day I beat him with a brush and the next day I placed my Macbook (pretty cold metal) on his bare back. He is still making me late so I have to come up with even more interesting stuff. Any ideas?

Moving on

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:19:08 GMT

A boy once dumped me for another girl. Worse thing was we were all part of the same circle of friends who hung out together all the time. This was back in college; I was very young and got my heart broken and my pride injured. Inevitably, our circle of friends was ruptured. Friends took sides. We did not all study together anymore. Nor did we all go to our weekly hikes and movie nights. Parties were not as fun to go to anymore because you had to be careful who to invite and where to show up or not. I was so angry all the time, I wasn't getting much studying done. I blamed her for all of it. Everytime I heard her name mentioned, I felt my blood boil with rage. Everytime I saw them together, or someone said they had seen them together, I felt the same visceral, simmering reaction. I hated her. I don't think I had hated anyone till then or since.

A few weeks passed filled with hatred and anger and alienation. Then one time I was sitting in my car at the college parking lot, about to drive away after a class. It was late afternoon and not many people around. All of a sudden I saw her walking alone across the parking lot. She was at a distance and couldn't see me in the car. All the hatred raged through me like a thunderbolt and for a split second I thought about pressing my foot on the gas pedal and running over her. I imagined her skull crashing against the hot asphalt, her bones all broken and blood splashing around. At that image, I was mortified. That image was too familiar to me and made me shudder. I was a child of revolution and war. I had left Iran to espace the bloody images of war and I had come to the US to study in peace. How had I allowed myself to get to this point? I drove away ashamed, angry and shaken. Enough was enough. After that day I told my friends I didn't want them to report what this couple was up to. I avoided seeing them and after a while we all transferred to different universities and moved on with our lives.

A few years later, I went back to the same college to pick up some old transcripts. Having gotten what I needed from the admission office, I started to walk back to the parking lot. As I was walking to my car, seeing the familiar buildings got to me and I began to feel nostalgic for the old times, for my friends and all the great times we had spent together at the college. Just then I saw a woman walking towards me from the parking lot, perhaps on her way to the admission office. Her face looked vaguely familiar and I thought she must have been in one of my classes. Eventhough I couldn't place her face just then I was happy to see a familiar face. She must have had the same thoughts because although it was obvious she couldn't fully recognize me, she smiled, nodded and said hello. I responded in kind and still smiling continued to walk to my car.

It was only when I was sitting in my car that I realized I had seen her a long time ago in the same parking lot with very different thoughts on my mind. I tried to search for any vestiges of the old hatred and rage inside of me, but there was nothing left. She could've been any old acquaintance walking by me that day and I drove away with a smile on my face.

What we have here is a failure to communicate...

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 21:16:36 GMT

Last night after we left the party, we pulled in to a gas station to get gas. I told Robert I wanted some water and when he asked me where he should get it, I pointed to the snack shop sign of the gas station. After filling up the car, and walking over to the little shop, he got into the car, handed me a bottle of windhshield wiper and proceeded to drive away.Me: Where is the water?Robert: I just handed it to you. There.M iritated: Ummm, I am thirsty. I want water. Is this some kindda of a joke?R confused: Oh, I thought you wanted water for the windshield wiper. We were at a gas station and the sign has been bleeping for a while that the car needs windshield wiper liquid. M sighing: The car was bleeping for windshield liquid two weeks ago and I already took care of that. I wanted water for me.R pulling to a seven eleven store to get me water: Well, you should have been more clear. I will get you some now. M laughing: Ok next time I will tell you I need water. Oh wait I already told you that.Ahhhhh, I wish my husband would spend more time listening to what I say as Head Lemur has been doing at Raving Lunacy. He still doesn't get my point but I am flattered that he spends a lot of time and space trying to analyze what I say. From what I gather, critical thinking according to him means ad hominem, inviting people to a conference is elitist behavior but telling them to shut up because they have not written a book or have high ranking in Google is in spirit of healthy debate. All I had said and still maintain is that you might be able to be a better judge of a conference if you actually bothered attending it. It sounded pretty simple and straight forward to me but I guess that makes me a blithering idiot. Frankly, I didn't know where all the venom was coming from, until I read my husband's post this morning about hacking A-listers. I guess this is Mr. Lemur's way of getting Robert to link to him? Sorry to disappoint that you wasted your time, but Robert will only link to you if you pick on him not me.

Love is...

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 06:23:56 GMT

Love is letting me warm my cold feet on your legs when I come to bed at night.
Love is making my coffee with two creams and no sugar the way I like it.
Love is offering me the last shrimp in your combination fried rice.
Love is carrying my laptop bag to the house for me.
Love is holding the door open for me even though you have your hands full with our laptop bags.
Love is holding my hand on the drive home.
Love is simply all in the way you look at me.

The upside of divorce

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 22:25:21 GMT

Before marrying Robert, I had my doubts about marrying a divorcee with a kid. Having never been married and without any kids myself, I wasn't quite sure how things would turn out for us. After marrying Robert, however, and spending time with Patrick, I realized that I was getting a pretty good deal. Robert was due to his previous experience, what you would call "house broken." He was and continues to be so patient with me and Patrick is always a joy to have around.

I am not saying we are a perfect family without any problems whatsoever, but there is lots of love in our house and our hearts and we try and make it work one way or another.

One of the first things that happened that made me realize marrying someone with more experience was a good thing, was when I was preparing for a weekend trip with Robert. I told Robert to pack his stuff and when I went to the bedroom I saw all his clothes that he was planning to bring with him neatly arranged on the bed. "why didn't you put them in the suitcase?" I asked. "Because I knew you were just going to take them out and pack them in your own way." He answered.
That was great, but now he doesn't even pack for himself anymore, since he knows I will just pick other clothes for him anyway :)

The other wonderful thing about being married to a man who has already been married once is that he doesn't argue with you about every little thing. He pretty much knows that saying "yes dear" will solve 50% of your problems and the other 50% will be solved with flowers, jewelry, and "I am sorry dear."

Now if there are things that Robert does that still bug me, I always have Patrick on my side. If Robert is being selfish or lazy or otherwise not being the good and loving husband that he should be, Patrick turns around and says: "This is exactly what you did that used to annoy my Mom and she left you." And that's enough for Robert to get the clue and start paying attention to me :)

A few months ago we were at a friend's house for dinner and an argument broke out between the host couple. Voices were raised and angry words exchanged. We were quietly watching the battle along with the couple's kids. All of a sudden I heard Patrick turn to his friend and say: "Don't worry, divorce isn't too bad. Look at me; I got Maryam."

That was enough to make everyone laugh and forget about the arguement. I am pretty happy I got Robert and Patrick too.

Working with your lover, part II

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 21:54:52 GMT

One of the perks of working with my husband at PodTech is that I get access to his calendar. I never thought I would enjoy an administrative detail so much. Check out the following conversation that happened this morning:

Maryam: We have an appointment with the contractor for this afternoon, so you need to drive with me around 5.
Robert: Sorry, can't. I have a meeting at 4.
Maryam: You do?
Robert: Yep. It's with Michelle.
Maryam: Funny because I am looking at your calendar now and it says your meeting with Michelle is at 11.
Robert:.....
Maryam: I love it! I love it! I love this new power! You can't get out of things anymore. I can see everything on your calendar now.
Robert: That totally sucks.
Maryam: I love working at PodTech. This is going to be just great.

Working with your lover: Heaven on earth or hell on wheels?

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 05:24:46 GMT

So you are good together in the bedroom, why not work together in the boardroom? What are the pros and cons of working with your lover? As I am typing this, my husband asks from across the room what are you doing and when I respond, I am writing a post on whether or not one should work with their lover, he laughs. He says it’s good as long as she is your wife and not your mistress ;)

My husband and I have worked together before and have just started to work together again. The last few days have been great. We wake up together and cuddle before we have to get ready to go to work. We commute together to work and hold hands as we walk across the parking lot to the office. We sit next together at the meetings. We go out to lunch with our coworkers and we commute back home together after work. It’s nice to brainstorm in the commute time about work. It’s exciting to work on projects together. But it feels like we are together all the time.

I know what you are thinking. In fact, I know you are just sitting on the sidewalk with a bowl of popcorn in hand, waiting for one of us to go postal and suffocate the other with a pillow in his sleep. Did I say his sleep? I meant their sleep. No need to be gender specific here ☺

We are certainly not the first couple to work together and won’t be the last. I know at least three successful couples who work together: Our fearless leader, John Furrier and his beautiful wife, Linda, Marc Canter and his wonderful wife, Lisa and Chris Pirillo and his lovely fiancé, Ponzi.

Blending the lines between private and professional lives can be tricky. On one hand couples are each other’s best allies. No one will work harder for you than your own family, as their livelihood depends solely on your success. Knowing each other’s weaknesses and strengths helps us complete each other. On the other hand, familiarity makes us take each other for granted. There is also that wonderful country song, which goes a little something like this: how can I miss you if you don’t ever go away?

Words of advice?

1) Take some time away from each other. Whether it’s a 30 minute walk or a weekend away with friends, make sure you allow yourself some alone time.
2) Don’t take each other for granted. Appreciate your lover’s work and give them some well deserved R E S P E CT!

Did I forget anything? Drop me a line and let me know. We are going to need it!

The new age of trade and barter

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 00:33:15 GMT

Sounds like we are in the new age of trade and barter. You might have already heard about The One Red Paper Clip story on the net or if you watched the new Rocketboom Video.

Here's how Robert and I applied it to our relationship as we drove up from Seattle to San Francisco yesterday:

I was totally envious of Robert using his Verizon Wireless Card to get on the Internet while I was driving so once it was his turn to drive, I wanted to get on the net too.

---Let me use your wireless card. I want to get on the Internet and check email.
---No.
---Please?
---No.
---I'll just use it for 5 minutes. 5 minutes won't kill you.
---No. That's 5 minutes of battery life I won't be using.
---Why are you so mean to me? I am always good to you.
---You are not that good.
---I made you banana bread today and you said that was good.
---Oh yeah, that was good. Do you have another piece left?
---yep.
---Give me one.
---I'll trade you.
---Fine. I'll take a piece of banana bread and let you use my wireless card for 5 minutes.
---Done deal!

and you thought you could never hear a sentence with a wireless card and banana bread both in it :)

The best and the worst things about being married to a famous blogger

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 07:15:08 GMT

You know what’s the best thing about being married to a famous blogger who lives his life so transparently on the blog? He can’t keep any secrets from you. Everyone knows who he is with; everyone knows where he has been and everyone knows what he’s been up to. It’ll keep a man honest and a marriage safe.

You know what’s the worst thing about being married to a famous blogger who lives his life so transparently on the blog? He always scoops your news and takes all the fun out of it for you. Every time you open your mouth to talk about the latest and the greatest in your life, you sound like a broken record player. What you thought was your hottest breaking news today is already well so yesterday. When the Wall Street Journal reporter woke us up early Sunday morning to get the story on Robert leaving Microsoft, I was not so surprised. This morning though, when my boss called me first thing in the morning to ask if Robert leaving Microsoft meant that I would be quitting my job too, I was taken aback. The real hitter though was when I called my real estate agent to tell him that we were thinking about selling the house. He already knew too. Of course, what was I thinking?

So when I am 90 and am writing my memoirs about being married to a famous blogger, I can start my book by saying: “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times…” Oh wait, I think that line was already written too J

Beware of Geeks Baring Gifts

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 22:32:08 GMT

I am such a sucker. He does it every time and every time I fall for it. My geek certainly has a way with giving gifts. Last year he surprised me by meeting me at the airport and giving me an iPod Nano. I was superjoyed and thought that was the coolest gift ever. A few months later when I finally took it away from him by force and stealth, I still thought it was a cool gift, despite the scratches and his techy podcast downloads and all.

The digital camera for my b-day last year in June was awesome too. I actually got a chance to take some pictures during Christmas holidays when Robert finally handed it over. Yep, I get the hand-me-downs alright.

Now, you all have been asking me about my new beamer. You should be asking Robert about it though since I have only had a chance to drive it once since he bought it for me two weeks ago. I think it's a good car as Robert seems to love it.

I've had it though. That's it. I am only asking for Jewelry and lingerie from now on. So far, he doesn't seem to be interested in wearing those. Diamonds are girls' best friends indeed.

Would you read my blog?

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 21:56:04 GMT

---Would you read my blog if you were not married to me?

---Ummm, yeah, sure.

---Really? You would find my blog interesting even if you didn't know me?

---How would I find out about your blog if I didn't know you?

---Well, maybe I would be married to one of your friends and then they would link to me and then you'd find me that way.

---hmmm...

---So would you read my blog then? If I was married to somebody else and not you.

---yes, baby. Sure. I think your blog is interesting.

---Really? What do you find interesting in my blog?

---When you blog about me. Hee hee

---What??? But I wouldn't blog about you if I were not married to you.

---Well it is a good thing you are married to me then. You have interesting things to blog about.

---.....

---Hee hee

Waaack is the sound you hear when someone is hit over the head...

Come hither, you big spender

Wed, 31 May 2006 03:14:45 GMT

I am not sure if my husband is going through mid-life crisis, but I have realized that I need to be careful about what I say around him these days. A couple of weeks ago, he purchased a 50 inch HDTV and that night when I was sitting next to him on the couch watching it, I said, "This is great. I wonder how the 60 inch TV would be like?" And poof, just like that, the very next day, we had a 60 inch HDTV sitting in our living room. Looking at the credit card bill made my head spin.

Then last week, my little old Toyota Corolla was having some problems and I told Robert I needed a new car. He said, what do you want? and I laughed and said, "Well, I have always wanted to have a BMW." And the next night, he showed up at Microsoft studios where I was working to pick me up with the keys to a brand new BMW 325i. I screamed when I realized that it was actually mine.

Our debts are becoming astronomical, but That's not the only thing I am worried about.

I am scared that if I show him a beautiful woman and tell him to check her out (as I often tend to do), that he'll show up the next day with her in our house and say, "This is Bambi dear. You said you liked her. So I brought her home with me." God help me.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes...

Tue, 30 May 2006 03:59:55 GMT

But gentlemen marry brunettes. That's what the good book said and that is the story of my husband's life. He has a weakness for pretty blondes, but he is stuck with me. I, on the other hand, always had a thing for dark haired men, but I am here with Robert. They don't get blonder than Robert. Love is an enigma; what can I say? But I digress.

I wanted to tell you the story about how two beautiful blonde women totally made Robert's night. We walked in to the bar in Chico hot springs and noticed two pretty blondes giggling and waving at Robert. Robert hurried over to see who they were forgetting all about me and his aunt. He forgot he was with us. I think he forgot who he was. I don't blame him though. I guess I would have forgotten about him if there were two dark haired handsome men sitting there giggling and waving at me. Ok that would have been weird. Guys don't giggle. Do they? But I digress again.

Back to my story about the two pretty blondes. My curiosity was raised naturally so I followed him. I met Jen and Bridgette, fellow bloggers, who introduced themselves as part of Robert's fan club. It was great to meet them. Jen has an environmental blog and Bridgette works in PR in Paradise Valley, MN. They had met Robert last week at a Blogger lunch here in Montana. We talked about the Blogher conference. They both said they were hoping to come there. I hope they can come. I would love to have a chance to party with them and that would totally make Robert's Day.

Thank you Jen and Bridgette for making my husband's night. He had a big smile on his face all night long. Smart, beautiful women don't have to do much to make a guy feel like a million bucks. All they have to do is giggle and wave :)

Alimony or Premony?

Fri, 26 May 2006 16:18:54 GMT

---Yay! Hip Hip Hooray! I just realized I don't have to pay alimony as of next month. That gives me lots of money to play with every month. I can pay down my debts. I can buy all sorts of gadgets. Woo hoo! Life is gonna be sweet!

---Au contraire my friend; as soon as your alimony ends you have to start paying premony. You won't have any money to play with.

---Premony? What's premony?

---Premony is the money you pay your currrent wife so that she doesn't leave you and make you start paying for alimony.

---Premony, huh? I'll show you premony. You can't just make up words and expect me to hand over my paycheck to you.

---Well think of it as an investment in your future. It's like an insurance payment. The more you spend on your current wife, the less you have to worry about future alimony payments. Hee hee...

---Sigh...fine. How much is this going to cost me?

---Don't you worry your little head about that. We'll figure something out.

---Sniff, Sniff. And I thought I was gonna buy myself all sorts of things. Sigh....

Bubbles go pop when they burst.